One of my all-time favourite horror movies is Wes Craven's film-making debut, Last House on the Left (1972); a film which captured, at just the right time in the political and social development of the US, a shocking and controversial story as a response to many misconceptions and cover-ups. Craven and producer Sean Cunningham were among many young hippies of their generation to feel outraged and lied to when footage of the Vietnam war came home, and the men decided that the sickly violence inflicted overseas was just as relevant in US society. It was clearly within the human capacity to commit torturous acts on our own kind, and it was there. The Man just didn't want you to think it was.
But alongside their own peace-fuelled angst came the basic morals and structure of an old Swedish folk tale, originally adapted to film by Ingmar Bergman in the Academy Award winning The Virgin Spring (1960). This brought us the story of Mari Collingwood (Sandra Cassell) and her friend Phyllis Stone (Lucy Grantham), two teenage girls of 'the love generation,' who are off to a Bloodlust concert in the City. In the remote Connecticut woodland live Doctor and Mrs Collingwood, who are busy preparing Mari's 17th birthday at home while the girls are out.
Through the brilliantly-used medium of a local radio station, we are introduced to the movie's antagonists. Krug Stillo (David Hess) and Weasel Pedowski (Fred Lincoln) - two escaped convicted murderers and rapists - and their companions Sadie (Jeramie Rain) and Krug's son Junior (Marc Sheffler). The girls run into the gang whilst trying to buy some grass and are kidnapped, taken to the woods, raped and murdered. By pure coincidence, the woods they are in - their car having broken down on the road - are the back garden of the Collingwood place, and the gang spend the night after their day of havoc, before the parents discover who they are and what they've done. Then the parents kill them all in miserable revenge.
In 2005, David DeFalco wrote Chaos, originally with Krug himself David Hess attached for the title role. Alas, the potential saviour of this sickening flick was let go, for fear of type casting. However, Marc Sheffler (Junior) signed on as co-producer for good measure. What this picture turns out to be is an almost scene-for-scene remake of Last House, but with the violence skyrocketed, the craft neglected, and the ending absolutely brutalised.
The two girls we have this time are Angelica (Maya Barovich) and Emily (Chantal Degroat) who is mixed-race. The only reason I mention this otherwise irrelevant point is because it is pressed so frequently throughout this outrageous film. In the opening minutes, Angelica (who, we gather has been Emily's friend long enough for her mother to worry about her party animal tendencies) says that Emily's mother should be more liberal, because she's in a mixed-race marriage. Why the hell would a long-term friend bring up their friend's race without any point or purpose? That's just stupid. To be continued...
Anyway, the girls are off to a rave in the woods, and the family at home in the wilderness are Mr Ross (Jewish doctor of some kind, we assume) and Mrs Ross (typical worried African-American sitcom housewife). Yeah, it already sounds terrible, doesn't it? So the girls head off into the woods, where people are still setting up. Angelica, in her irritating 'broken record' manner shouts loudly and obnoxiously about 'scoring some E' and soon her obviously dwindling common sense gets them friendly with our new Junior, Swan (Sage Stallone). He takes them back to a secluded and dilapidated cabin where his pop Chaos (Kevin Gage), sidekick Frankie (Stephen Wozniak) who looks like he may be Jared Leto under a false name, and their eye-candy Daisy (Kelley Quann). Wow, Daisy--Sadie...see what they did there?!
This gang has none of the swagger or chemistry that Weasel, Sadie and Krug had. Chaos, who's a towering skinhead always shot from below to appear terrifyingly large, is soon revealed to be an absolutely (for want of a less-horror-cliché term) twisted fuck. Daisy, whose hair was styled just like Jeramie Rain's, but whose appearance is lacking in the original felinity, is a questionable character. Throughout she expresses remorse, fear and disgust, yet when the gang inevitably torture the girls, she screams, hollers and molests with considerable conviction. She's well acted, but under-developed. Frankie, the aforementioned Leto in disguise, is similarly questionable. He constantly disagrees with Chaos, and although he claims 'We do it because we like it!' is later equally disgusted by Chaos' rampage. It's like his mantra is 'Rape and torture is fun and harmless, but there's a line, man, don't cross it.'
So, the gang have taken the girls to the woods, for some reason. 'Nobody'll bother us way out here.' Yeah, dude, but nobody would've bothered you in that perfectly good hovel in the middle of nowhere either. Why the woods? Anyhow, it is suggested it would've been a good, old-fashioned rape and murder spree until Chaos came in and added his ridiculously vile torture that is obviously designed purely to sicken us. Do we really need one girl force-fed her own nipple before being stabbed and her dying body raped by two different men? Do we really need the other girl's two orifices being carved into one? No we fucking don't.
Craven's movie was distinctly lacking in any really 'original' killing methods. Phyllis was stabbed, Mari was shot and both were raped. The content of the violence was not the point of the movie, the context was. But Chaos is not so subtle. The only real object here is to make the audience vomit til their stomach linings hang from their mouths. This is truly gross shit.
Anyhow, the girls done away with, we are given Last House-style cuts back to the parents at home. The original used this as a mild form of comic relief, with jaunty music and lack of worry. It was used as a contrast. But the constant cuts back to the parents here are increasingly annoying and pointless, just going round in circles, conversation-wise. The mother character is irritatingly pitiful, but the dad is strongly played, particularly towards the end. But again, the original story's pivotal third act is barstardised, made totally pointless and fruitless.
The gang finally arrive at the parents house, for whatever reason, a mere ten minutes from the end, and there is no development between them, or trickery. As soon as they set foot in the house, the dad realises what's happened because Daisy's wearing her victim's belt. He manages to get a call out to the cops-- wait, wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. I must mention the cops. Earlier the worried parents called the local sheriff, who is again ridiculously and pointlessly racist. Taking Emily's picture with him he comments, 'Would you believe one of her parents is white?!' I reiterate-- WHAT?! The mom goes into typical housewife outrage, while in the car the sheriff rambles on to his deputy about 'All that perfectly good white pussy out there and he goes and marries a nignog.' What a crazy fucking asshole. There is no point to any of this shambolic conversation, except if it is to emphasise the fascist attitudes of all the male characters, bar Pop.
The original 1972 cops were a wicked delight, again used as comic relief. They see the gang's car broken down outside the Collingwood place, but choose not to pursue it. Soon after they realise the car belonged to their wanted felons, their sudden chase is stalled as their car runs out of gas. They spend the remainder of the movie walking and trying to hitch various hilarious rides back to the Collingwoods'. These here cops are not only backwards pricks, they are also mindless idiots, as the show's jaw-droppingly ridiculous, and point-defeating anti-climax proves.
Five mins to run: The cops have arrived, and are busy wrestling with the hysterical Mrs Ross, while Doc Ross has Chaos, Daisy and Frankie at gunpoint (oh by the way, the son is dead. I forgot about that. He dies). Anyhow, after wasting his first chance to blow them away by chatting shit, Dad's gun is snatched away by Chaos, who shoots and kills Daisy. While this happens, Doc runs off and grabs a chainsaw (wink to the original) and guts Frankie like a leather-clad fish. He wastes the remaining fuel, and his second attempt to blow them away, by sawing through various wooden objects. A struggle between Doc and Chaos sees the latter with a screwdriver to the leg, and Doc reloads the gun, aiming it at his aggressor's head. Here it goes, third chance, that was lucky, better not screw it up... In runs the sheriff, who immediately SHOOTS DOC ROSS IN THE HEAD in his own fucking living room!!!! Mrs Ross runs in and sees her dead husband, and grabs the sheriff's gun and shoots him dead with it. By now Chaos has grabbed the gun again and shoots the deputy, and then the mom. Everyone's dead except Chaos, and his cruel laughter runs over a black screen. End of movie.
What the fuck did I just see? In the words of Ron Burgundy, "Well, that escalated quickly." One of Craven and Cunningham's key points of their movie was showing how ordinary, good people can become killers, the same as those scum we don't believe live in our neighbourhoods. What did it take for that to happen? And would it give any satisfaction, or did it just have to be done? Well it wasn't done in Chaos, that's the problem. So now not only the ending, but the entire story is obsolete. The parents were meant to be central characters, victims who become aggressors. But they weren't; they were victims like everyone else, turning this movie into one long, mindless killfest by a single sick bastard, and in the end, he is better off. What does this mean?
In 1972, every member of the gang was dead, and the parents left in confused misery at what has happened. But the gang was dead, so revenge had been dealt. Evil had been punished. That is, one way or another, a satisfactory conclusion. But here evil is not punished, it is fed and it prevails. The beginning of the movie features a particularly long-winded 'true events' bullshit title card, which claims the movie should 'serve as a warning to parents and potential victims...and perhaps save lives.' So what is this movie's warning? That sick, evil people will always win? Or that evil is everywhere so parents should lock their daughters in the attic for life? What was DeFalco doing? There is no clear message or moral to this movie. It's just a torture album.
All of this turf was already covered by the mighty Ebert, but it's true and obvious. Not only lacking constant attitude or perspective, it's craft is minimal. Last House featured some good, while certainly amateur, cinematography, and an amazing score by none other than David Hess. The music, Hess' main passion, was meaningful, lyrical and beautiful, and made a few scenes eerily sensual. Music in Chaos is negligible, and when it's present, it's just bullshit rap-dance beats anyhow. It's pointless, an empty medium which could convey so much.
Chaos is a sick and senseless film with absolute lack of direction, meaning or creativity (except when it comes to methods of killing innocent people), and the unwanted bastard child of Last House which should have been nipped in the bud before it got worse.
